Do you ever feel that there's way to many things you should be doing? And that if you were really with it enough you could do it?? That's how I'm feeling right now!! I know logically, a person can't do it all. But, if I could just be more organized and work harder or faster..... it would all get done.... wouldn't it?? Hmmmm....
Here's a few things I think I should be doing...
I should be
reading more to my kids (we do read, but... ya know, more would be better)
keeping up with my dishes better ( I hate dishes)
washing my floors every evening after the kids go to bed (seriously, it needs it every day...doesn't get it tho.)
sorting though exess clothing and junk more regularly
exersizing more
eating less
which would help me loose the 20 lbs I shouldn't have
getting up earlier (to exersize and clean of course!)
homeschooling with the kids longer
practicing piano with them
practicing guitar for myself
helping others out more
making meals for those in need
exersizing more.. ehem... I know, I said that already... it's a big one (I have lost 7 lbs though!)
reading to myself less
Christmas baking
Christmas decorating (which isn't much of a chore, lol)
meal planning
more planning in everything....
sit and enjoy my kids more
taking more pictures of the kids (we seriously need some family pics taken... sigh)
writing down more memories from them
blogging more
reaching out to more people
and the list goes on and on.
As mother's we seem to live with great heaps of guilt. And sometimes I get swallowed up by it all, without even realizing how much pressure I'm putting on myself. So you know what I do, when the list piles up?
Nada.
Ok ok, not quite nothing. But the mountain seems insirmountable and I get very little done. So, there ya go, guilt pulls us down instead of urging us on ahead.
My question is this. What does the Lord want me to do from this list? What is His desire for my life? I know it's more then I'm currently doing, cause... well, our God is a big God and from what I can see, He thinks big! But the amazing thing about the Lord is that I know that His burden is light. And He gives me strenghth to sore like and eagle.
I guess my list for today should look like this now...
Lean on the Lord. Cast my cares on Him (cause they're far to big for me). Like everyone, I usually don't clue into this things until I've worked myself into a tither and I've come to the end of myself. Sigh.
So, pray for me, that I will lean on my Big God more, and I'll be praying for you too!!
now... off to accomplish something on that list...
I can do pictures for you anytime you want. I'm free and not perfect but you could see if you like them.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could come tomorrow but I have my first midwife appointment and it's an all day endeavor. Hopefully sans kids. I'm excited to hopefully hear a heartbeat. But lets do it soon.
Ok, I've now re-read my post and noticed a few spelling errors... hahah, sore like eagles.
ReplyDeleteLola, you do pics? Wow, that would be awesome. I will warn you, I can be a bit of a goof ball trying to get all my kids sitting and smiling at once. haha
ReplyDeleteThat's very exciting that you'll be meeting your midwife! I'd love to hear all about her. My sister see's her's tomorrow too, in Calgary though.
Let me know sometime when you're around. Last minute is fine with me :)
Well honey... those darn shoulda woulda couldas can eat a person alive, spit em out and do it alllll over again. It's a life long battle I'm afraid, yet, there can be freedom from them! Yup. It's true. I absolutely love how I can now have moments free from all the obligations that I've either created, or that have come to me on their own... I have such high and unrealistic expectations of myself, and have had to have lots of coaching from my Spiritual Director to even begin to see that God doesn't have the feelings... When I rest in who and how God sees me, I feel free from the heavy load. Yup. It's a process, but sweetheart, cut yourself some slack. You are perfect just as you are. Nothing more is needed. Messy house, clean house, it doesn't matter. God adores you regardless. Rest in that. It's true.
ReplyDeleteLove Auntie Kathleen
Satan knows what strings to pull. The guilt strings are so often that area with women/moms I think. Do your best, and leave the rest...till tomorrow:) or another day. The guilt isn't from the Lord. Remember, you have 4 kids under the age of 8! And you homeschool!! I think that is pretty amazing in itself:) BTW I haven't gotten any Christmas decorations out yet and I am feeling behind in areas as well.
ReplyDeleteChristine:)
Ahhh, you guys are good for the soul... :) I need to remember those things. It seems there needs to be some kind of balance. Sometimes I feel like I have it, and sometimes I dont! I didn't get a whole lot done today either, and it doesn't really bother me. But too many days in a row will get to me.... I really need to learn some of these things!
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice to know I'm not alone in this struggle. I am constantly frustrated with myself and how little of my ideals that I accomplish - but I am learning to see what I do do well, what I do accomplish - and praise God for that - and slowly with God's strength to seek more discipline in the areas that are lacking. From an outsider, I see you as someone who is effective, yet human too. Don't be hard on yourself - you are amazing - and whatever you struggle in, God can use that too (I am always secretly blessed when women open up about their struggle with "womens duties" - i.e. dishes, floors, etc. I feel a little better about my failings)
ReplyDeleteLisa, thanks for your note! It's a comfort to hear I'm not alone too!!
ReplyDeleteI was recently listening to this book on cd (it's my new thing.. I love it!) and it talked about enhancing our strengths and letting our weaknesses be. She used the illistration that if, on a scale of 1-10 we were a 6 at cooking and a 2 at singing, our tendancy is to work on that 2, because we feel so weak at it. But she said to work on our strengths, because maybe that 6 can become a 8 or 9 if we really work on it, and then that really would be something! But that 2 will probably never be an 8 or 9, at best it might be a 2 or 3... so, why waste so much time on it? But, our society puts so much pressure on being good at everything. So, dishes are a 2 here... I think I'll just stop doing them.... hahahahaha