I think I might be tired...

    I've never been one that's great with less sleep. The older I get, the more I've learned to cope with less, but still... I can tell it totally effects me.  I've felt like I've done a bit better this time though. I'm more used to pushing myself and living on less sleep.

But now... today, it caught up with me. She's been a bit fussier the last few days, so I've tried to be very careful with what I eat. From the start I've stayed off of dairy (except a bit of butter on toast, ugh margarine...) and corn and broccoli/cauliflower. It hasn't been too bad, but I am missing having yogurt. It's such a nice snack. But still she's been getting a bit fussier. I know, it's that stage too, they just are fussier. But I've had such colicky babies I really wanted to avoid that this time.

Sigh.

But, I'm finding there's not much to eat. Today, I've eaten some muffins and now a cup of soup. And I'm hungry. But I don't know what to eat. And I'm scared to eat most things in light of the screaming.

And. Larry's been gone the last two days, helping his Dad out of town. I miss his help. I miss him! He's had Levi with him the whole time, which has been a big help too.

And. The house is messy. I find everything gets messy then. The kids fight more. I get less done. It all unravels. I've been trying to get things cleaned up today. That's when I realized that I'm tired. After vacuuming the floor for the 3rd time, in hopes of getting it washed. The kids came in from outside with the bread slices I had given them to eat outside. They were to be eaten outside for a reason! Crumbs! And they come in carrying the bread instead of it being in the dish, happily dropping crumbs all through the house, all over the floor, and all over the table. Lets just say it wasn't a shinning star moment for me. My baffled kids (who could care less how many crumbs are on the floor) quickly gathered their crumbly bread back up and scooted back outside to eat it. I cried. Yeah, I know... lotta good that does. But, it was one of those moments. I cried because of the stupid crumbs. I cried cause I yelled at my kids over stupid crumbs. I cried cause I was shaky from not eating. I cried cause I was exhausted.  I vacuumed again then decided not to wash the floor till later. Thus, here I am!
And. I'm feeling pressure with all the homeschooling that needs to be done. I talked to the kids teacher this week and I just feel totally overwhelmed with what all they need to learn in English. Math, we're fine. English is killer.

My laundry pile is  award winning. In height.

And. Nathan and Emily are trying to one-up each other for naughtiness. Today they worked together though and unraveled a whole roll of toilet paper all over the house.

And. I feel so so blessed every time I look at my beautiful new baby. Really... She's so worth it. The exhaustion. The screaming. The mess. I'm so glad to have her. So glad.

And. I will be fine. I've been around this block a few times now and I know it passes and everything evens out.  It's just the moments... and the crumbs that break the mommy's back sometimes!

Now I'd best go. Get Nathan and Emily out of the tub. Emily is threatening to get out of the tub without my washing the conditioner out of her hair.