Easy obedience

     Ok, the truth is I chew on a lot of deep'ish thoughts most days. Some flit in and out of my mind without much conclusion, but mostly the moments I have in the shower are when I get a chance to think on these things. I love listening to focus on the family too, so much good information.

Anyways, I've been pondering this idea of easy obedience. Our society now really isn't used to working hard for much. Sure, there's hard areas or things are hard differently (which might be a better way to state it) , but a lot of the hardships our great grandparents and past dealt with are simply not issues we face. 

And I wonder (yes, I realize that it's not proper to start a sentence, no less, a paragraph with 'and' I teach English to my kids... I'm not proper :)  ) if this comfortable lifestyle has reached it's fingers deeper into our hearts then we realize.
A spiritual laziness....  I struggle to do all the things I *should*. I want to be passionate about reading my Bible, praying and going to church. But as silly as this sounds, I'm thinking that sometimes you just have to push through more.

For example... As a mother, I'm passionate about raising good kids. I really want to do my best. I really love my kids and I'm willing to learn and change for their benefit. It's rarely easy, but because of my love and passion I'm willing. But if I'm being totally honest, I have never ever been passionate about those dang poopy diapers. Cleaning puke either. Stepping on stray blocks in the middle of the night in bare feet.  Those are just a few examples of things that I really detest in parenting... But I do it. (well, I don't step on the blocks on purpose!) I do thousands of dirty, yucky and uncomfortable things as a parent. And during that time, I'm sooooooo not  passionate about what I'm doing.

Yet, I'm not gonna quit. Meegan isn't gonna sit in her poop till she's trained. Puke isn't gonna sit on my floor till we move. Those dang blocks will get picked up too.  Hard sometimes, but needed.

Somehow, in my Christian walk I think it should all be easy. I should want to always read my Bible. I should be able to breeze right into it. I don't want to deal with hurt and offence, it doesn't feel fair. I don't want to help someone else out, that will never repay the favor... And no, I'm not using you as an example, this is me, my hard hearted struggles with these things!  I want everything fun and easy. I really really do. Yet, everything comes with responsibilities. My spiritual life and my church life too.

I'm realizing now too that I (we?) often have high ideals for our churches and leadership. We want to make them want us to help in the church. We want them to get us fired up and passionate about things so that we're excited to be there and be involved. I think there has to be some of that for sure. Just as with our kids there are so so soooo many blessings to raising them. But what about the times when we aren't happy? When we don't like what leadership says or does? If it's not unbiblical, what do we do? Loose our passion, drift away? Sometimes we need to tie into things. Realize that obedience to God isn't always easy. I can't hang onto my offense... I can't have my friends and church family act the way I want. I can't be what I want to be to them either. But it's good. It's family. It's people. And I'm here. I want to love God's people, to learn and grow. And to keep going, even when the obedience isn't easy and I'm not passionate anymore. I will pray for passion for my heart (I'm always amazed how God does this!) but keep walking forward. I must learn this!

I hope this makes sense. I realize the struggles and pressures I feel about these things are common. But I want to share because as the Lord gives me greater understanding of them it's easier to move on and grow...

So what do you think? Are we lazy? We pray for passion, but we're not willing to die to ourselves so that God can move us up to the next level?

It's midnight... if this doesn't make sense at all, let me know!! ha!


ps- just as a side note... I'm not struggling or offended with another or my church right now. In case this insinuates that. These are thoughts from past experiences that just seemed like they're ready to be said.