One of those kids....

      Yesterday at the kids swim club an incident happened where one kid picked on another and hurt him. It seemed as those it was completely unprovoked too. Turns out this little guy isn't a stranger to bits of trouble. Now, I don't know him at all, but from the reactions I saw... it seemed that way. But it's gotten me to thinking again about the kids that get labeled that way. You know the ones... "oh... he's here today, gonna be a bad one" or "guess who's in our class this time, don't sit next to her" .  You've all heard it, and we've all probably said it too, about that kid who seems to have trouble follow them around.

See... I was one of those kids.

Now I don't remember hurting other kids or being mean. I might have been at times, I more recall other kids picking on me. But, we all tends to remember others flaws and not our own, so who knows... But I was a busy one. A very busy one from what I'm told.  And as adults we don't tend to enjoy those busy kids as much. And our own children pick up those attitudes and then usually vocalize them to the child themselves. I try to remember how I talk about other children in front of my own kids now. I'm amazed at how much they can pick up on! 

Anyways... When I saw this little guy come into the pool yesterday the look in his eye caught my attention. He didn't look mean. He looked hurt. Often the look of a labeled child. Often these kids are bad, it's true. But sometimes it's not only them to blame. Circumstances can really change a child, and it's not always in the parents control. Often many busy children are misunderstood. They're parents are overwhelmed with them and don't know how to handle them. Usually these kids are very strong willed. (I was!) and people don't know how to respond to them. I don't have all the answers or reasons kids turn out this way. But as one kid who the adults didn't like and kids made fun of, I wanted to remind others....

These kids grow up. They become adults. And they will always remember how you treated them. That they were "bad", that we rejected them. There's a lot of kids that irritate me at times but now I always try to remember to be that person that has hope in them. That looks for the good in their soul and doesn't assume they're "bad". Next time you see that little person, look them in the eye and say hi to them, ask them how they're doing, they might be surprised! They're used to being ignored or corrected, but not having people personally invest in them. Every little bit of hope we can place in any child helps. I still remember the people who loved me, even when I was naughty. I always knew my Grandma loved me, even when I know I pushed her buttons big time! And there's people from our church growing up who I still have trouble looking in the eye because of how they talked to me when I was young. You know... untill a few years ago I would cry on my way home from my home town. I would visit there with my children and people would recognize me and ask me if my kids are as hard for me as I was for my own mother. It's not the question that bothers me, (my kids can be hard!!) it's remembering those same people treating me like I was "bad"  when I was young.   Busy kids often don't fit in well, but theres so much good in them too! Every child is like a painting, and every person they come in contact with colors them a little. Even if we think we're insignificant in their lives.... Enough tiny black dots on a page can really start affecting children.

       I'm guessing most of you out there, as parents have come to this same realization. Usually we see it strongest when you realize that it's your own kid people don't like!! But I wanted to write a little about it, to remind us all to be compassionate. There's enough people out there being hard on these little ones, lets hope when they interact with us, we're a bright spot in their memories!!

   Let me know what you think! Were you one of those kids too? Is your child one?